My Blog - Raquel Scates

How to Take Your New Journey as a Young Military Widowed Mom One Day at a Time

by Raquel | Nov 30, 2023 | Uncategorized

As a young military widowed mom, life can seem overwhelming and complex. We experience tremendous loss, immense change, and extreme emotions- all at once. However, with time, patience, and a positive attitude, we can get through the toughest times. This little tidbit of information, one day at a time, was the most valuable thing I ever received on my widowhood journey. So how do you take your new journey as a young military widowed mom one day at a time? Let me share some tips and tricks with you.

Build Your Support System: Grieving and coping with the loss alone can be incredibly overwhelming. Reach out to your family, friends, or even a support group who can offer you emotional help and guidance. On your tough days, remember your support system is always there to lift you up.
Set Small Goals: After the loss of your loved one, you may feel like being productive is impossible. That’s okay. Take small steps that feel doable and move on to the next goal. Maybe the goal can be something as simple as getting dressed and going for a walk. These small goals can help provide a sense of purpose and direction.
Take Care of Yourself: It’s important to take care of yourself on this journey. Make sure you get enough sleep, eat well, and exercise regularly. Self-care practices like yoga, meditation, and journaling may also help you to relax and cope with grief.
Find New Hobbies/Interests: Losing your loved one means finding new ways to navigate life without them. Finding new hobbies and interests that can make you feel happy and excited can help fill a void that losing someone close has created. Using this time to explore new activities can be cathartic and healing.
Embrace the Journey: Give yourself time to heal and grieve, even though it may be difficult. Every moment in your journey is an opportunity to learn something new about yourself, making you stronger in the process. It is important to remember that all of these things take time and that the little steps you take each day, help in unremarkable ways.

As a young military widowed mom, taking your new journey one day at a time is not always the easiest thing to do, but it is imperative for your mental and emotional well-being. Building the right support system, setting small achievable goals, taking care of yourself, finding new interests, and embracing the journey can all help you get through your grief and lead you on the path of self-healing. Remember, you are not alone, and taking each day as it comes is a reminder that with each passing day you are one step closer to healing.

Navigating Widowhood with Young Children

by Raquel | Nov 5, 2023 | Uncategorized

As a young military widowed mother who has been on this widowhood journey, I understand how difficult it can be to navigate this new life with young children. Losing a spouse is one of the hardest things a person can go through, and it’s even harder when you have young children to care for. In this blog, I want to share some first steps that new widows with young children can take to help them navigate this new chapter in their lives.

Get support: The first step for a new widow with young children should be seeking support. You need people who understand what you’re going through and who can help you cope with your loss. Reach out to your family and friends, or join a local support group for widows. There are also online support groups that can connect you with other widows who have young children.
Seek professional help: Grieving is a complex process, and it’s okay to seek the help of a professional. Find a therapist or counselor who specializes in grief counseling to help you process your emotions and find ways to cope with your loss. They can also offer guidance on how to help your children through the grieving process.
Manage your finances: Losing a spouse can have a significant impact on your finances. As a new widow, it’s important to take stock of your financial situation and make a plan for moving forward. You may need to adjust your budget, apply for government benefits, or seek financial planning advice to get your finances in order.
Make arrangements for your children: If you have young children, it’s essential to make arrangements for their care and upbringing. You may need to revise your will and appoint a guardian for your children. You may also want to update your life insurance policy to provide for your children’s future needs.
Take care of yourself: Finally, it’s crucial to prioritize self-care. Grieving can take a toll on your physical and emotional health, and you need to take care of yourself to be there for your children. Make sure to eat a healthy diet, get enough rest, and engage in activities that bring you joy. I can’t say enough about the importance of self-care, and if you are looking for a super simple way to practice self-care without much effort at all, checkout my tool kit here. This is the tool kit that pulled me out of the deep abyss of depression and suicidal thoughts from grief so that I could move through the widowhood journey more gently than I could ever imagine. This tool kit saved my life and saved my children from a life without both their parents. Remember, it’s okay to take a break from your responsibilities and allow yourself time to grieve.

Losing a spouse is one of the most challenging experiences a person can face, but seeking support and taking positive actions can help you and your children navigate this new chapter in your lives. From seeking professional help to managing your finances and making arrangements for your children, these first steps can help you become more secure and confident as you journey through widowhood. As someone who has been there, my hope and prayer is that this blog post has provided you with some valuable resources and support to help you on your journey of healing.

Coping Strategies for Young Military Widowed Mothers

by Raquel | Oct 28, 2023 | Uncategorized

Losing a spouse in the military can be a harrowing experience. Military widows often face the challenge of raising their children alone, managing financial responsibilities, and dealing with the grief and trauma of their loss. Coping with such a situation can be overwhelming, to say the least. As a young military widowed mother, you may find yourself struggling to overcome these challenges. But, with the right strategies and support, you can learn to cope and rebuild your life. In this blog post, we will discuss some of the ways that young military widowed mothers can cope and find stability in their lives.

Find a support system:

No one can go through grief and trauma on their own. Finding a support system is crucial for any young military widowed mother. Look for people who are going through the same experience or who have gone through something similar. This can make you feel less alone in your grief. There are several support groups and online communities for military widows where you can connect with others facing similar challenges. You can search Facebook for local widow groups in your area, if you live near a military base you can reach out to their Survivor Outreach Services, if they haven’t reached out to you already. Still can’t find the support you are looking for, you can reach out to the Children’s Bereavment Center.

Seek counseling:

Losing a spouse can have a significant impact on the mental and emotional well-being of a young military widowed mother. Seeking counseling and therapy can help you address your grief and trauma and develop coping strategies to deal with the challenges you face. It is essential to seek professional help and not deal with the situation on your own.

Take care of yourself:

As a young military widowed mother, you may be so focused on taking care of your children that you forget to take care of yourself. However, it is crucial to prioritize self-care. Taking care of your mental and physical health will help you cope better with the challenges you face. Make sure you eat well, exercise, get enough sleep, and take time for yourself to do things you enjoy.

Plan a routine:

Having a routine is essential for a young military widowed mother. It can be tough to manage responsibilities and cope with grief when there is no structure in your day. Plan a routine that works well for you and your children. This will help you maintain stability in your life and provide a sense of normalcy for your children. Here are some helpful tools that help me everyday: The 1st one is a very simple tool to get started with a routine, get it here. My other favorite tools are for those moms that have multiple kids, with multiple different appointments and extracurricular activities. I like to color code my schedule so I use these two together. Grab them here and here.

Take help:

Being a young military widowed mother comes with a lot of responsibilities. It is okay to ask for help and delegate tasks to others. Your friends, family, and community are often willing to help, but you need to take the initiative to ask for it. Accepting help will relieve some of your burden and stress. By utilizing the few tools from above, you’ll be able to clearly see where you need the help.

As a young military widowed mother, you may feel that everything is out of your control, and the future is uncertain. However, it is crucial to remember that you are not alone. Support, counseling, self-care, planning, and accepting help are essential strategies to cope and find stability in life. Nothing can replace the loss of a spouse, but with time and effort, a young military widowed mother can rebuild her life and give her children the best future possible.